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Taking Things Personally
I’m reading A High Performing Mind and today’s events got me thinking about how the book mentions not taking the behaviour of others, or their comments, personally. I really didn’t think much of it at the time, but that quickly changed when I picked up some meds at the pharmacy. Typical of my nature and…
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A High Performance Mind & My Reality
This morning I woke up and got research done for the maternal psychosis book, chapter one. It feels good to get work done so early in the morning. After this, I’ll take my 12-year-old chihuahua, Gumbo, out to potty and then feed him and the fish. Better add taking out the garbage too. Habit stacking…
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Grateful for Good Days & Recovery
I’m feeling grateful that my mental health has improved considerably over the past few days. It feels soul-enriching to enjoy cooking and listening to music. I also enjoy researching for my book on maternal psychosis. I still have some low energy, but I’m trying to be more disciplined and not let that fatigue derail all…
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Meandering Thoughts & Today’s Plans
Last night, I went to see Project Hail Mary with my daughters, my daughter’s fiancé, his sister, and his parents. The girls were concerned that my dad might not be able to sit still for about 3 hours to enjoy the movie so I didn’t check him out of memory care. I plan to visit…
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Feeling Like a Spring Chicken
I don’t know what was causing my exhaustion since Friday at noon, but it seems to have improved considerably with some rest. Shockingly, I woke up this morning feeling like a spring chicken! A maintenance guy at our apartment complex once told me that it wasn’t good for me to sleep on the couch because…
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Anhedonia Update & Getting Back on Track
Had an appointment with my psychiatrist the other day. It turns out that high doses of Prozac can also cause anhedonia. I didn’t realise that. So, my dosage is being reduced and I hope that it resolves quickly. Yesterday, I visited dad in memory care and took him breakfast. I fasted for Good Friday. Visited…
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Evaluating 75 Hard & Modifying it For Depression Recovery
Though I’m dealing with depression and anhedonia, I recognise that I need to be disciplined and keep working towards my goals. For a few days, I was supremely lazy, and I think I needed that time, but taking too much time off when depressed can result in weeks going by with no progress. I don’t…
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Depression: An Update & Artemis
Warning: Suicide mentioned. See About Me and Disclaimer. This is an update to my earlier post today. No exercise today, but I spent a few hours cooking. The potato and cauliflower curry is still simmering. Took a break from chopping up vegetables and cooking to watch the Artemis 2 launch. When I was a girl,…
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Depression-A Day in My Life
I didn’t shower for two days, and I was so inactive that my daughter grew concerned. I think maybe going through menopause is causing my mental health to worsen so I am trying to lose weight. Hopefully, with improved labs, my doctor will allow me to try hormone replacement therapy. I read that HRT helps…
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Palm Sunday Reflections: Family, Cooking, and Self-Care
This morning, I woke up at 0400. Lately, I have been sleeping in, and that has been more annoying than enjoyable. I spent an hour wasting time. Then, I got my laundry done, did some Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) notes and review, and I answered the 10 morning questions for my manifestation planner. I haven’t…
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Depressive Thoughts & Delusional Hope
Yesterday, after feeling good about spending time researching maternal psychosis for my book, my energy levels took a dive, and I began to have depressive thoughts like: Even if I am feeling good, my brain will find a way to torment me.This is never going to end.I can’t keep a schedule because my brain finds…
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Research & Thoughts
It took me a few hours to wake up this morning, but I was able to concentrate and get in a few hours of research on maternal psychosis. I also took time to think about how I want the rest of this year to go, because I’ve felt a loss of control over reaching daily…
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Update & Gratitude
I’m beginning to feel better and growing more hopeful that things will continue to improve. Recently, I lost some weight that I had gained last year. Working to continue losing weight. Been getting some exercise in like riding my spin bike. Played tennis with my daughters a few times; we are planning to play tomorrow.…
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Finding Meaning in Mental Health Challenges
Looking back on past posts, I can see that I have been struggling since the beginning of December last year. A hard part about struggling with mental health is that it is not always respectful of your goals and routine. Rather, mental health struggles reduce each day to miniature moments of discomfort (or torment) that…
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Hoping for Better Days
I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been struggling with my mental health. So much so that I haven’t kept up with my goals and plans, and I feel exhausted; I don’t even feel overwhelmed anymore. Today, I began to feel better, and more hopeful that better days are ahead. So, once I get back on…
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Rebounding
I haven’t been blogging because my depression worsened and I was dealing with real event OCD. When I have goals and then go through a mental episode, I feel overwhelmed when it comes to getting back on track. So, for the past few days, I’ve been doing little chunks of productive things instead of trying…
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Depression. Getting Back to Life.
I have been dealing with some depression. Depression doesn’t care if you have goals or a schedule. It barges into your existence and demands your attention for a time. Because of my PTSD, I don’t like to be away from home very much. But today, I traveled to a nearby town with my daughters. We…
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Today’s Thoughts About Discipline, Habits, & Routines
Discipline, Habits & Routines This morning, I read about how there are three types of discipline. Structural, reactive, and expansive. Ideally, all three are needed to achieve goals. I think I do need to work on some structural aspects of my day. When I was working, I had alarms set for all sorts of things,…
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Thoughts on My Active Recovery
I’m trying to blog regularly, but I feel like some health issues have knocked me off track in reading. I’m behind on the books that I started and hope to get back to reading today—I think I can read at least 10 pages. As a personal trainer, I am redesigning my exercise program as I’m…
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The Body Keeps the Score
I read the book, The Body Keeps the Score, several years ago and did not really believe in the idea that the body stores pain from past trauma. But now I do. One year ago, I had a traumatic emotional experience. Instead of dealing with it, I internalised it just as I had internalised earlier…
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Productivity During the Freeze
Productivity & Weather Productivity This morning, I woke up and was determined not to watch YouTube videos for two uninterrupted hours. I love YouTube. Never really watched online videos until recently, and now I spend most of the day watching some kind of content on my television YouTube app. I especially enjoy videos about other…
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Time to Think & Site Update
Time to Think, Get Well & Row After writing the blog post a week ago on working and burnout, I took time offline to think about what comes next in my life and focus on getting well. As, I am almost a month out from my flu/pneumonia, I’m coughing less and feel like my lungs…
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Overcoming Burnout: A Personal Journey
This morning, I watched a video on YouTube about why people no longer want to work. I want to work. I like working. In my last job, I was the worst performer on my team and rose to be in the top 3 on my team consistently. Looking back on that achievement, I don’t feel…
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Balancing My Mental Health & Fitness, Quite Literally, in One Day
Today, I did my first workout, other than walking, since getting the flu and perhaps some pneumonia. Mobility is something I want to improve because I once could do pilates and yoga with smooth transitions. Now that I’m heavier and almost 48 years old, I’ve noticed I’m not as agile as I once was. To…
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Rejection & Self-Respect
Today, I’m listening to a stoicism video on YouTube about how to use moments of rejection as learning experiences—by encouraging our own self-respect and self-worth. Before dawn, I set an intention for the day on my Insight Timer app. Usually, I write long and winding intentions. This morning, there was a suggested intention. It read,…