Depression

My last shower was on Tuesday because I went to see the dentist. My gums are inflamed and the dentist told me I need to floss. He demonstrated between my fingers about how I’m supposed to floss. I think I frustrated him and dental hygienist by whining about how long that will take. So, I told them I have been going through depression for context. I still haven’t flossed my teeth. Have a bunch of new floss sitting on the sink waiting for me.

The dentist said it doesn’t matter what time of day you floss your teeth as long as you are doing it at least once a day. I think once a day is probably too much for me right now so I’m going floss today and then take it a day at a time. I could also maybe skip a day, and now, I can hear him talking about how my cutting corners isn’t going to work. I told him my genius way of flossing without doing one tooth at a time. He wasn’t impressed.

Why life be so demanding??

Despite my depression, I did manage to shower this morning, and I feel better. It was hard to get in the shower, but once I was in there, I tried to focus on performing each task without thinking too far ahead into the process. It felt like torture to concentrate on one task at a time, but, finally, all the tasks were done. I did lose a lot of hair in the shower which upset me. My hair has been falling out a lot lately.

YouTube

I have a YouTube channel but I posted one video and deleted it last year. Lately, my recommended videos have been about how to grow a channel from 0 subscribers and how if I keep at it, I’ll eventually achieve monetisation. Maybe I’m getting these suggested videos because my channel is dormant?

One suggested video actually stood out from the others because it acknowledged that starting out is hard, you feel bad about the way you look and sound, and you don’t really know what you are doing. But, eventually, you get good at making videos, and you shift from focusing on yourself and how you look and sound to being of service to others by the content you create. I liked that. That’s the whole point of what I wanted to do with my channel, but I just get hung up on not looking or sounding the way I think I should look and sound.

Concluding Thoughts

My brain hurts and I feel tired despite sleeping enough hours. I haven’t worked out in like 4 days now, and I feel bad about that.

But, today, I’m going to floss my teeth and do some kind of exercise. Even if I do nothing else for the day.

Ideally, I’d like to go to morning mass at 0830 and visit my dad. I just don’t know if I can get that done.

Anyway…

Thanks for reading and following. I wish you happiness and good health in your life’s journey.