I am getting better and I am so grateful. More on that later.

New Kindle Scribe

This morning, I woke up at 4 am. Ordered me a new Kindle Scribe Colorsoft since they are on sale; I am trading in my first generation Kindle Scribe for an additional discount.

The only reason why I am upgrading is because the one feature I use a lot is more accessible in the new model. In the old model, your notebooks that you can write in are an afterthought. In the new one, you can connect to Google docs to access more easily and to Microsoft’s Cloud. While I have switched over to Macs, I still pay for my Microsoft Cloud because I have a lot of writing and pictures stored there.

On the old model, you have to email a PDF and it is slow and problematic. You also cannot easily search within your documents. So, even though I’m nervous about dropping cash to pay for the new model, I think it will be a great tool that I can use even more than I already use the one I have. I’m doing the payment plan to make it more affordable.

The new Kindle should arrive this afternoon and I’m excited. The case should arrive tomorrow. To prepare the old Kindle for trade-in shipment, I removed the skin sticker I had put on it. Thankfully, it was a good quality skin that didn’t leave adhesive on the device which would affect the trade-in value.

The Growth Zone

Chores & Pushups

After ordering my new Kindle, I found it easy to complete morning chores, which was an indication the new medication is working, and I’m getting better. Got my chores done, and then I remembered my pushup challenge from yesterday morning.

So, unrolled the yoga mat and got down on the floor. My 12-year-old Chihuahua, Gumbo, got all excited and joined me on the mat for some downward dog stretches. Then, I held a plank for 30 seconds. Sat on my knees for a few seconds and then completed 2 sets of 5 pushups. I don’t do the girl pushups but I can’t hover close the floor without falling so I lowered down in a more controlled way and then pushed up-making sure my abs were engaged and my body was completely straight. To prove that I could, on the second set, I completed a 6th pushup. Afterwards, I felt happy; my arms and abs were feeling it.

The Growth Zone

Worked in The Embodied Healing Workbook for PTSD therapy. Today’s reading was about the Self-Awareness Scale that is a way to assess where you need to be within your window of tolerance. Traumas can often reduce your window of tolerance.

Levels 1-2 | Comfort Zone

My body, emotions, and thoughts are clear. I feel safe and competent. I can rest here.

Levels 3-6 | Growth Zone

My body, emotions, and thoughts are active and manageable. I can grow and be effective here.

Levels 7-10 | Outside Window of Tolerance

My body, emotions, and thoughts are not manageable. I am overwhelmed, lost in reaction, or shutdown.

For most of this year, I have been between levels 7 and 10; outside my window of tolerance.

But this morning, I fluctuate between levels 1 and 2; my comfort zone, and between levels 3-6; my growth zone.

I feel so grateful to feel both calm and also focused on growing from what I have experienced this year with mania, hypomania, depression, and pneumonia.

I am grateful my inner world isn’t tormenting me. Feeling peaceful is a great gift.

Conclusion

Yesterday, my daughter who is expecting her first baby in December came over, we ate a lot of Indian food, and hung out for a while. I didn’t exercise as I ate a lot yesterday and felt more lethargic as a result. Definitely feel up to exercising today! While I wanted to work out this morning, I thought maybe my youngest daughter might like to do a spin workout and upper body resistance training workout later today so I’m waiting.

I feel like making peace with God, acknowledging my sins and failures, accepting why I struggle the way I do, and making sure I take my meds and change my hormone patches on schedule are all helping me to recover. Recovery is a gift, and it is not something I always deserve, but I am grateful.

Well, I hope today is a productive day. And I wish you peace in your day!