Suicide treated as a topic of Stoicism.

Morning Gumbo Snuggles

I was up at 0400. Wasted some time coming to wakefulness. At 5, I tried to study my notes on postpartum psychosis. I was distracted by my inner world that was just more annoying than overwhelming.

Spent time writing to friends.

Snuggled with my 12-year-old Chihuahua named Gumbo and once my inner world settled down, I started reading Seneca’s letters.

Seneca’s Letters

This morning, I read a few of Senca’s letters to Lucilius and am thinking about the last one I read, “On the proper time to slip the cable.”

I’m pretty sure I’m a stoic at heart, in many aspects. Especially when it comes to slipping the cable of life. Seneca basically believed that we are all here and can choose our exit and we are not forced to keep living. He even expands on how some men say they should wait for their natural ends.

I want to write more about this, but maybe not on this blog. I might make a Substack essay or something. I want to write about Seneca’s position, my experiences, and about how Catholicism views that aspect of life and death.

Not sure when I will get around to doing that, but maybe once I finish this book. It is a huge book of three Stoic philosophers, Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus. I’m on page 500 and I think I have about 700 more to go.

Restlessness

Prayers

Tried to read morning prayers this morning and couldn’t concentrate. I laid on my acupressure prickly mat because my upper back pain is increasing. Ascetic Indians are geniuses to come up with such a device! I tried to do a 7-minute meditation on cosmic grace and my brain just refused to cooperate with that.

Weather

It’s cold today here in northern Colorado. It is cloudy and we actually have some rain which is nice because I love humidity. I’m from the Deep South of Alabama.

Exercise

Pain

As my upper back was hurting, after lying on the prickly mat, I picked up 2, 20-lb dumbbells and did some bent over rows. My upper back is weak and I’m having a lot of pain. Unsure if it is related to my asthma or if this is just getting old. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but it is getting difficult to ignore. So, I’m trying to work those muscles to keep them from hurting more.

Today’s Workouts

I really need to work out some restlessness and so I will ride my spin bike really hard to an Apple Workout video. I’ll probably post that later today. I’m also going to lie back down on the prickly mat and try to meditate and say some prayers today since I struggled with that this morning. Will also do some pushups.

My goal is build up my strength so that I can shoot a bow and arrow again, and I’m very particular about how this process has to go. I know my girls think I can just go outside and shoot a bow, but that is not what it is like for me; it’s spiritual. Meditative. And my body needs to be conditioned.

Concluding Thoughts

Will update blog with workout stats later today. Will read some more of Seneca’s letters and try to refocus on my book research. Hoping my brain will cooperate.

Thanks for following along, and I hope you have a good and productive (or restful) day.