What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

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When I was young, I was a gifted ambidextrous archer. My dad brought home a bow and had my sister try it. She missed. I pulled it back expertly, broke the bow in half due to my strength and the arrow hit bullseye. Dad went out and had custom bows and arrows made for me and I had access to my bow whenever I wanted to use it and spent hours practicing in the evenings. 

As I grew, so did my abilities to see without seeing, surveying the field, and anticipating outcomes. 

But then, one day, I humiliated a boy at my home. He had been my dad’s friend’s son. I did not show him mercy. I showed him what I could do. It made him cry. So upset was everyone that my dad took away my bows and told me, “It’s not good to be too good at what men do.”

From that moment onwards, I chose to be fully noncombatant and I failed to fight for myself and others. I let my spirit and gifts die. 

I went home in 2025 to move my dad here. At his home was his bow. I still have it. It’s beneath my bed.

When I hold a bow, I feel like it is a part of me and who I am. And it’s now painful. Though I prefer to use a left-handed bow, I can use a right-handed one. Presently, my strength is low so my draw weight has decreased. Out of humiliation I don’t try to rehabilitate my archery skills despite my daughters looking up a range here for me to practice. I only like to practice outdoors. 

Recently, in my spiritual life, I feel like I had to make a definite choice. In choosing not to fight for years, I learned how to walk both sides of an argument. In my last job, I perfected it. Wholly uncommitted to choosing a side, I felt like that was what being peaceful is supposed to be, but I was wrong. 

In the life, you have to choose a side. You must know yourself and your strengths and weaknesses. 

If I had chosen differently throughout my life, I feel like I could have avoided much suffering. 

So, in closing, I will just say, I feel like I should pick up my metaphysical bow and fight. 

I do not believe in using weapons to harm people or animals. I’ve never killed anything with my bow despite my dad being a bow hunter and my skill which would have made me suitable. I do not like to see suffering and do not wish to cause it. 

But, I think maybe I should rehabilitate my body and my skills. Practicing targets in various ways can help one develop mental skills that make one more resilient and resolute. It can also be a form of peace; whenever an arrow is released, it is done so with careful judgment.